America, Land of the Offended

Alright, it takes a lot to offend me.  I’ve been called pretty much every name in the book and I can take the abuse mostly because I don’t LOOK to be offended.  Somehow, many other people do the opposite and are offended at the slightest hint at anything that can be remotely considered an insult.  Ugh.

It’s gotten so bad that I really don’t know what to say to anyone.  Everything needs to be qualified these days, especially since every subgroup of the population has found some sort of identity in what makes them unique, whether it be blacks, whites, gays, anti-gays, christians, etc.  I don’t know, I’ve always had a “live and let live” attitude toward most people, so long as you don’t “live” in my face and do your “living” in the privacy of your home.  No one cares about your ethnicity nor your lifestyle, religious beliefs, etc, etc, etc, unless you try to ram it down our throats.  But that’s another discussion for a different day.

Back to the Land of the Offended.  OK, let’s start with a hypothetical, but very real example.  I have a friend who’s Jewish.  If I refer to him/her as “a Jew”, is that considered offensive?  I take it, it IS, but I couldn’t for the life of me explain WHY.  Somehow, “they’re Jewish” vs. “he’s a Jew” walk some fine offensive scale and one tips the scale while the other doesn’t.

Another example is saying someone’s black.  Apparently the Political Correctness Committee has decided on this whole “African American” label, which is just absurd.  Of all the black people I know, none of them is from Africa, nor have they ever been there.  I’m proposing we then use the term: “AMERICAN African American” to denote those people who are really just Americans, but have the same color skin as those people from Africa who then may have migrated to the United States.  Yeah, silly idea, right?

You can’t even say “you’re gay” anymore, without pissing someone off.  Of course, gays, like all subgroups that have identified themselves as a separate group from the rest of the population, have taken their knocks and undue abuse.  Unfortunately that just comes with the territory, like the fat kid in school getting verbally/physically abused; it sucks, but the world ain’t gonna change and I don’t know what to do about it (and if you’re going to complain about my view, then YOU offer a solution).

I like to joke around, but it seems like everyone these days takes everything so freaking seriously that no one can see humour in anything and they just look to be offended.  Virtually anything you say can be taken the wrong way and very few people actually consider your intended message before taking on the defensive view.  Sure some jokes go way too far and certainly sometimes you say something unintentionally offensive, but jeez, can’t people approach things as adults and address the issue?

So, I’ll plod on and continue to joke around knowing that sooner or later someone will get upset and I’ll do the damage control as needed.  That said, I hope all you homos have a great Xmas.

Yes, that was a joke, except the Xmas part, which I hope offended someone.  Please let me know, although I’m SURE you will.

Another Reason to Hate Dell PC’s

OK…this isn’t really targeting Dell, per se, but pretty much any computer designer who’s not me.  I’m only picking on Dell because they, like all non-Apple computer manufacturers, kinda suck with the rest.  So I need to hook up speakers to my wife’s Dell PC.  Sure, you say, why not just get a Mac?  Well, I did and I’m SO over PCs, but we ended up with a Dell because it came with the gumball.  Fine.

Back to my problem: I needed to hook up speakers to her PC so she can hear all the YouTube videos trashing Microsoft and Dell, right?  Right.  So I dig out a set of PC speakers and run the one plug toward the back of the machine and this is what I encounter:

Alright, now I know from my last (and I do mean LAST) HP computer that I’m probably supposed to hook up the speakers to the GREEN port.  The microphone icon looks accurate, but I’m not sure if any kid under 20 has any idea what an old style microphone looks like.  I can also assume that the blue icon, which is so dramatically different from the green icon (was someone actually paid to design these?), is probably for sound input, not to be confused with microphone input.  The remaining three on the top row are about as clear as mud.  Apparently they’re for some sort of cross-fading and/or ricocheting sound using Halloween colors, but how, I don’t know.  Thanks, Dell, for the extensive explanations in your documentation and on your incredible website.   If you can explain these icons, please cite a reference, preferably with the icons and the explanations of what these icons are supposed to indicate.

While I’m trashing Dell, I may as well throw in a BIG “thank you” to Dell for pre-installing a DELL branded battery in my laptop.  That’s right, a brand new Dell laptop whose Dell battery is giving errors just one year after starting service.  But wait, there’s more: not only does the battery suck, but you MUST purchase a Dell replacement battery.  But wait, there’s more: this replacement battery costs $130 AND, on Dell’s website, it got a user rating of 1 1/2 stars (out of 5).  I’m not even going to mention the additional problem in Vista whereupon Vista can’t locate the DVD drive after it’s accessed (it virtually disappears from the system until you reboot; sometimes while reading a DVD/CD!!).  Finally, I’m definitely NOT mentioning the fact that Dell did not offer XP as an option when I purchased the laptop (they offer it now), nor how they do NOT recommend downgrading from Vista to XP (when, ironically, Vista was actually the downgrade).

OK, I guess I really do hate Dell computers.  I have to thank them, though, since the combo of Vista sucking and Dell selling crap that I finally bought an iMac.  I haven’t looked back since and I’m kicking myself for not switching sooner.

Note to fellow cheap asses who think PC’s are cheaper than Macs: they’re not.  Once you factor in the included software and hardware that comes standard on a Mac (webcam/wireless/bluetooth/best keyboard ever/best non-trackball mouse ever/big monitor/fluid graphics/etc) and the fact the hardware/software are seamlessly integrated and the fact that you won’t be futzing with the damn computer for hours on end, it’s very much a steal.  Purchase AppleCare (support that’s supportive) and you’re good to go.  The world is listening.

Silly Shoppers, “Percent Off Regular Price” Means Nothing

I’ve always maintained that “regular price” means nothing when it comes to shopping.  To say, “I bought this at 50% off regular price” is pointless unless you can actually verify that “regular price” is what something normally sells for elsewhere.  There’s a big scam that’s been going on since the dinosaur age about artificially inflating prices and then having a “percent off” sale, which just brings the prices back down to normal.  Silly, clueless shoppers think they get a deal, but they’re really just getting screwed.

Case in point: SANTA got my kids a small set of percussion instruments.  Sometime around December 10th, Amazon.com had the item listed for $7.99, with the regular price being $9.99 (“You Save 20%”).  I figured an $8 set which included kid sized: tambourine, maracas, cymbals, clacker and a solid triangle is a great deal, so I…uh, Santa, purchased it.  Christmas comes, kids open it, love it and we’re all making beautiful music together.

So everybody’s happy, ne c’est pas?… Mais NON!!!  Right after christmas, my wife gets an email from Amazon listing this exact same product at $15.99, with a claimed regular price of $19.99 (“You Save 25%”)!!!!!!  I must stress that this is the identical product on Amazon — the same reviews and everything.  Clearly Amazon is just f’ing with you.  Who among us can actually verify “Regular Prices”?  Unless you’ve got access to wholesale pricing, the answer is: very few of us.  BUT, we do love a bargain.

Now you can shop at Amazon and get an additional 5% discount at twice the price!!

Let The Buyer Beware (“caveat emptor” as pretentious guys who know a little Latin and/or Mike Brady, Architect, may say).