Another Reason to Hate Dell PC’s

OK…this isn’t really targeting Dell, per se, but pretty much any computer designer who’s not me.  I’m only picking on Dell because they, like all non-Apple computer manufacturers, kinda suck with the rest.  So I need to hook up speakers to my wife’s Dell PC.  Sure, you say, why not just get a Mac?  Well, I did and I’m SO over PCs, but we ended up with a Dell because it came with the gumball.  Fine.

Back to my problem: I needed to hook up speakers to her PC so she can hear all the YouTube videos trashing Microsoft and Dell, right?  Right.  So I dig out a set of PC speakers and run the one plug toward the back of the machine and this is what I encounter:

Alright, now I know from my last (and I do mean LAST) HP computer that I’m probably supposed to hook up the speakers to the GREEN port.  The microphone icon looks accurate, but I’m not sure if any kid under 20 has any idea what an old style microphone looks like.  I can also assume that the blue icon, which is so dramatically different from the green icon (was someone actually paid to design these?), is probably for sound input, not to be confused with microphone input.  The remaining three on the top row are about as clear as mud.  Apparently they’re for some sort of cross-fading and/or ricocheting sound using Halloween colors, but how, I don’t know.  Thanks, Dell, for the extensive explanations in your documentation and on your incredible website.   If you can explain these icons, please cite a reference, preferably with the icons and the explanations of what these icons are supposed to indicate.

While I’m trashing Dell, I may as well throw in a BIG “thank you” to Dell for pre-installing a DELL branded battery in my laptop.  That’s right, a brand new Dell laptop whose Dell battery is giving errors just one year after starting service.  But wait, there’s more: not only does the battery suck, but you MUST purchase a Dell replacement battery.  But wait, there’s more: this replacement battery costs $130 AND, on Dell’s website, it got a user rating of 1 1/2 stars (out of 5).  I’m not even going to mention the additional problem in Vista whereupon Vista can’t locate the DVD drive after it’s accessed (it virtually disappears from the system until you reboot; sometimes while reading a DVD/CD!!).  Finally, I’m definitely NOT mentioning the fact that Dell did not offer XP as an option when I purchased the laptop (they offer it now), nor how they do NOT recommend downgrading from Vista to XP (when, ironically, Vista was actually the downgrade).

OK, I guess I really do hate Dell computers.  I have to thank them, though, since the combo of Vista sucking and Dell selling crap that I finally bought an iMac.  I haven’t looked back since and I’m kicking myself for not switching sooner.

Note to fellow cheap asses who think PC’s are cheaper than Macs: they’re not.  Once you factor in the included software and hardware that comes standard on a Mac (webcam/wireless/bluetooth/best keyboard ever/best non-trackball mouse ever/big monitor/fluid graphics/etc) and the fact the hardware/software are seamlessly integrated and the fact that you won’t be futzing with the damn computer for hours on end, it’s very much a steal.  Purchase AppleCare (support that’s supportive) and you’re good to go.  The world is listening.