Spring File Cleaning/Shredding

I’m going through TONS of needlessly kept paperwork from the past 10 or so years and it’s a real pain in the butt. I wish I didn’t have to shred all of this; a bonfire would suit me fine and I’d not only be finished in about an hour, but I’d also be the envy of all the pyros in the neighborhood. Besides, my kids could roast marshmallows.

Anyway, I’ve posted this question somewhere else — likely facebook, since I have no real contact with 3D humans — does anyone know of a simpler way to destroy TONS of paper besides shredding? I know there are companies that will do it, but I’m not looking for a paid solution since I could get my kids to sit for hours shredding manually and it won’t cost me a cent (and it’d enable me to actually get something productive (like this silly blog) accomplished).

Lambs, let this be a lesson to you — you don’t really need to keep ANYTHING any more than a year.  Fortunately for us, in America, everyone allows you alternatives to hardcopy proof of anything, and in America, you ALWAYS get second, third and fourth final chances to do anything.  Now I keep a rolling year of everything — when the new bill comes in, the one at the back of the folder gets shredded.

While I’m at it, who the hell invented LEGAL size paper and why does anyone use it any more? My file cabinets are full of folded over legal size paper — yeah, you guessed it, it’s folded over to match the 8 1/2 x 11 inch sheets that dominate.

Just another thing to annoy me today.

"A" paper sizes, like that means anything to anyone who's ever been intimate with another human being.

Ernie Johnson, White NBA Host…WTF?

Ernie Johnson’s the white guy that anchors TNT’s show Inside The NBA and he’s flanked by Kenny “The Jet” Smith and Charles Barkley, both of whom are former NBA players.  Every now and then, another former player will sit in as a guest host.  Now, I have nothing against anyone making a living, but why the hell is Ernie Johnson the guy?

Ernie’s a geek from way back.  He used to have oversized black rimmed glasses and, although I’m sure he’s a decent guy, he’s basically got the personality of a slice of toast.  I don’t mean to paint a poor picture of the guy, but alongside a firecracker like Charles Barkley, it’s a tough sell.  Even Kenny Smith comes up with some good angles on the game and adds to the discussion.  Ernie, also known as “EJ” (ooh, real stretch for a nickname, guys), does keep everyone reeled in, but adds little to the proceedings.  Maybe they’ve got him in there as the straight man, or maybe the show isn’t supposed to be entertaining, but then why hire Charles Barkley?

As I said, I’m sure EJ’s a decent human being outside of work and he’s probably a great guy to have as a neighbor, but for such a visible spot in a major sporting event’s broadcast, I just don’t get it.  Maybe he was the guy who happened to be in the building on the first day of shooting and they just kept him around.  Or maybe he’s good friends with Ted Turner?  At least that other show got Tom Arnold, who adds comic relief if nothing else.  I’m still wondering what EJ adds to the show.

For the record, I do love Charles Barkley.  Kenny and the other players that come in are alright, but Charles is the real cornerstone of the show.  I love a guy that calls things as he sees them and is not afraid to speak his mind, good or bad.  Barkley’s DUI or DWI or whatever the hell it’s called these days (how about “drunk driving”?) was totally lame on his part, though, no excuses.  He seems to be taking the punishment and seems to have acknowledged his major mistake, so I guess that’s all you can expect.  He’s another guy I’d like to meet someday.

Maybe Charles can introduce me to Ernie.

Respect My Privacy…Yeah, Right

I’m so totally sick of Privacy Policies from credit card companies, phone companies, etc that mean nothing with regards to my private information. They all give us the tag phrase, “we respect your privacy…”, but they don’t. They make it a pain in the ass to prevent your information from being used in ways you’ll never understand AND what bothers me is that the default is to ALLOW your private information to be used at their discretion, unless you jump through hoops to prevent it. Even then, it’s not really clear what you are preventing.

Why don’t they make your information completely UNshareable by default, unless I explicitly state that you want it to be shared? That would imply that your privacy IS respected, but, of course, then they can’t make money selling your information and they can’t fill your inbox/mailbox full of crap offers.

This really makes me sick. How much time (beyond blogging) is wasted going through junk mail, spam, etc, that could have been prevented had your information been kept private? We recently got a mortgage and now all the freakin’ lists I went out of my way to be removed from, I’m right back on and I get all the garbage I tried so hard to prevent. I get more crap in my mailbox than ever before. Funny enough, my stupid town even allows junk mail at PO Boxes, so I get TWO copies of everything.

Voter’s Registration is another culprit.  I recently moved and had to update my address.  I asked if my information could be suppressed from mailing lists and they said they had NO way of suppressing names.  The woman I spoke with also added that they make a lot of money selling the list, so it actually HELPS the county.  Thanks, a-holes.

I also love how your mortgage info becomes public record.  Once you sign those papers, expect a FLOOD of junk mail with all your personal financial info relating to your loan.  Some of the letters I’ve received are cleverly disguised and appear very much like they’re coming from the lender.  I can’t imagine if I were in my 60′s and having to differentiate these junk offers from real letters from my lender.

I don’t know.  I know we live in the information age, but it seems that someone, somewhere can put a stop to this.  I’m all for a universal BAN on junk mail, just like we’ve been trying to do with spam.  If we eliminated all the unwanted catalogs and junk mail from out mailboxes, the post office would be much more efficient, we’d eliminate many lawsuits from fraudulent claims and we’d help put a stop to Identity theft.  Of course this will never happen in my lifetime, but someday it may happen.

Now let me get back to that HUGE pile of unopened mail on my desk.

 

I knew I shouldn't have given my REAL name! And... That's MR. Addkjl to you.