Ernie Johnson, White NBA Host…WTF?

Ernie Johnson’s the white guy that anchors TNT’s show Inside The NBA and he’s flanked by Kenny “The Jet” Smith and Charles Barkley, both of whom are former NBA players.  Every now and then, another former player will sit in as a guest host.  Now, I have nothing against anyone making a living, but why the hell is Ernie Johnson the guy?

Ernie’s a geek from way back.  He used to have oversized black rimmed glasses and, although I’m sure he’s a decent guy, he’s basically got the personality of a slice of toast.  I don’t mean to paint a poor picture of the guy, but alongside a firecracker like Charles Barkley, it’s a tough sell.  Even Kenny Smith comes up with some good angles on the game and adds to the discussion.  Ernie, also known as “EJ” (ooh, real stretch for a nickname, guys), does keep everyone reeled in, but adds little to the proceedings.  Maybe they’ve got him in there as the straight man, or maybe the show isn’t supposed to be entertaining, but then why hire Charles Barkley?

As I said, I’m sure EJ’s a decent human being outside of work and he’s probably a great guy to have as a neighbor, but for such a visible spot in a major sporting event’s broadcast, I just don’t get it.  Maybe he was the guy who happened to be in the building on the first day of shooting and they just kept him around.  Or maybe he’s good friends with Ted Turner?  At least that other show got Tom Arnold, who adds comic relief if nothing else.  I’m still wondering what EJ adds to the show.

For the record, I do love Charles Barkley.  Kenny and the other players that come in are alright, but Charles is the real cornerstone of the show.  I love a guy that calls things as he sees them and is not afraid to speak his mind, good or bad.  Barkley’s DUI or DWI or whatever the hell it’s called these days (how about “drunk driving”?) was totally lame on his part, though, no excuses.  He seems to be taking the punishment and seems to have acknowledged his major mistake, so I guess that’s all you can expect.  He’s another guy I’d like to meet someday.

Maybe Charles can introduce me to Ernie.

White Men Can’t Jump, But They Can Hit Their Free Throws

Picture this: you’re a tall, well HUGE guy who can put a basketball through the hoop from any distance that can be defined as “point blank”.  Pretty much any shot within four feet of the basket has about a 50/50 chance of sinking.  However, anything beyond that (which includes unobstructed, uncontested free shots from the free throw line) and you’re hoping on a wing and a prayer.

OK, I’m talking about the NBA players that just can’t hit a freakin’ free throw.  Shaquille O’Neal is the poster child, but there are others (ironically the white guy from the Knicks a few years back, Chris Dudley, was apparently the league’s worst free throw shooter).  What I fail to understand is this:  these players are being paid a boatload of cash to play a game.  That’s right, no matter how you slice it and want to call it a business and how much you want to weep about the time the players spend on the lonely road away from their families and how sad it is when best friend teammates get traded, it still boils down to being paid to play a game.

I might also add that in a typical 82 game season (excluding the playoffs), the marquee players earn more in a single game than 95% of America does in a year.  The average player earns more in a season than most Americans will in 20 years of work.  And all to play a game.

Now that we have the monetary perspective down, consider this:  you’re Shaq,  you’re paid to play basketball during the season. in which you eat/sleep/drink/piss basketball the entire season.  So, why the hell can’t you practice your free throws?  Surely with practice you can get better.  Clearly it has an impact on close games and could even make a difference come playoff time.  And, um, may I mention it’s your incredibly inflated pay scale JOB?

I do like how the NBA is now cashing in on the European players/market.  The NBA is more global now than ever before and I’m sure they’re raking in TONS of cash.  The game is getting better, too, with some actual shooters on the floor (and I don’t mean with that .45 tucked into the glove box).  With this new supply of quality players, I wonder if the NBA will lose its tolerance for  its players using drugs, strangling their coaches, fighting spectators in the stands, fighting other players on the floor, etc, etc and just dismiss them outright.  After all, in our jobs, we would not be given nearly all the chances these players get.

And, Commissioner Stern, if you’re still reading:  why not make dunks only worth one point?