Silly Shoppers, “Percent Off Regular Price” Means Nothing

I’ve always maintained that “regular price” means nothing when it comes to shopping.  To say, “I bought this at 50% off regular price” is pointless unless you can actually verify that “regular price” is what something normally sells for elsewhere.  There’s a big scam that’s been going on since the dinosaur age about artificially inflating prices and then having a “percent off” sale, which just brings the prices back down to normal.  Silly, clueless shoppers think they get a deal, but they’re really just getting screwed.

Case in point: SANTA got my kids a small set of percussion instruments.  Sometime around December 10th, Amazon.com had the item listed for $7.99, with the regular price being $9.99 (“You Save 20%”).  I figured an $8 set which included kid sized: tambourine, maracas, cymbals, clacker and a solid triangle is a great deal, so I…uh, Santa, purchased it.  Christmas comes, kids open it, love it and we’re all making beautiful music together.

So everybody’s happy, ne c’est pas?… Mais NON!!!  Right after christmas, my wife gets an email from Amazon listing this exact same product at $15.99, with a claimed regular price of $19.99 (“You Save 25%”)!!!!!!  I must stress that this is the identical product on Amazon — the same reviews and everything.  Clearly Amazon is just f’ing with you.  Who among us can actually verify “Regular Prices”?  Unless you’ve got access to wholesale pricing, the answer is: very few of us.  BUT, we do love a bargain.

Now you can shop at Amazon and get an additional 5% discount at twice the price!!

Let The Buyer Beware (“caveat emptor” as pretentious guys who know a little Latin and/or Mike Brady, Architect, may say).

 

Christmas Shopping and Must Have Products

America today is in bad shape; our economy sucks and our values have gotten so twisted.  I still can’t get over the Walmart employee getting crushed in a mad Black Friday rush of shoppers and I realized that I share virtually NOTHING with the mentality of this mob.

Sure, I’m a self-proclaimed cheap ass and I like saving money and sending in rebates and all that, but if I sit here and try to think of a single “must have” item, I can’t.  There is NO DVD that I absolutely must own, there is NO movie that I HAVE to see, there is NO product I have to buy…and so on.  It’s very strange for me, being a former collector of, well, STUFF, to have attained this position.  As a kid, I got caught up in all that marketing, which is probably why I despise marketing so much today.  I was told which toys were fun in all the commercials and I cluelessly added them to my christmas list.  When it turned out that the toys sucked, I didn’t seem to care (although I did notice), because there was always another toy being pushed on TV.

That all changed when I shut off my TV, canceled cable and stopped reading newspapers and listening to the radio.  I consciously shut out any media outlet as much as I reasonably could and now I find that I’m somewhat immune to advertising.  I’m trying to keep my kids from that same barrage I was subjected to, but it’s not easy.  It’s OK, to some extent, but you do need a constant awareness and need to limit the impact.  Look at virtually every kid you see; all their toys and accessories are licensed characters: Disney, Dora, Thomas the Tank Engine, Spongebob, Elmo, etc…ad infinitum.

Funny enough, parents don’t even notice what they’re paying for, nor the negative impact it’s having on the child.  Case in point: at toy stores, the ‘blank’ play ball sells for $3.49 and the exact same ball with Dora’s oversized head on it sells for $4.99, as do all the Disney balls.  So, cheap ass me buys the cheaper ball (after all, it’s just a ball) and to make it cooler, we break out the permanent markers and decorate it ourselves.  Score one point against Disney and score one point for independence.

The only time I’ve seen TV recently was during the NBA finals and the Presidential debates, etc prior to the election.  To be honest, I was appalled at not only the obviousness with which the ads pushed products, but I laughed hysterically at the lists of side effects mentioned for virtually every pharmaceutical product advertised, especially ironic for the ‘erectile dysfunction’ pills (sure you want a stiffy, but would you die for one?).

I don’t know, maybe it’s a lost cause.  We all ask for a ‘kleenex’ instead of a tissue, we ‘xerox’ things, and we ‘google’ search terms, so we’ve already been programmed.  It’s not all bad, but it is scary how it creeps up on you.  For now all I can do is limit the damage to my family without impacting our enjoyment of life.  It does require an acute awareness, but I’ve developed much of it.

For the record, my iPod* is not one, my cell phone is not an iPhone* and my christmas list is empty.  I have everything I need (until something breaks) since I bought it all when I was told to by my TV.  Now I’m just enjoying them for a change instead of clamoring for the next ‘thing’.

Homework: shut off your media (TV, radio, newspapers/magazines) for a week and figure out who you are, or if there’s any part left of who you are.  Report back.

*For the record, I will admit I do want both of these, simply because they’re excellent products.

Black Friday has a body count.

Alright, now we’re all thankful we aren’t employed by Walmart, right?  That poor 34 year old guy who got trampled to death in a Black Friday rush is pretty sad commentary on our mixed up society.  I’m all for a bargain, but jeez, can’t they come up with a better system (like handing out numbered tickets for your place in line) than let a bunch of lunatics break down the door?

Since The Who concert back in 1979, we’ve known that insane crowds of people racing to get one up on the guy standing next to them is just a recipe for disaster.  I stopped going to concerts, not only because bands suck now, but also because of the lunacy involved in getting a close look.  I still remember those Van Halen shows where the crowd would literally smash themselves against the barriers and your chest was only saved from being crushed by pressing your arms against the guy in front of you while waiting for the human tide to ebb.  The same happens with these shoppers, only it’s probably worse since the prize has a dollar value.  And, at least some of the concert-going crowd can claim they were on drugs.

I sincerely hope that Walmart gets sued bigtime (after all, it was their carrot) AND the entire group of people that were anywhere near that door are charged with involuntary manslaughter.  It’d only be right.  Someone has to control these people and maybe they’ve got enough video footage to do so.

I also heard that a pregnant woman miscarried in the rush. “Two with one stone” comes to mind, in the same way Sheryl Crow meant it.  It’s truly horrifying.

Black Friday has never been blacker and the scariest part is that it’s probably only the beginning.  Our human race is so ready to stampede over whoever/whatever is in their way that I wonder if we’ve gone back to the caveman days.

I’m so glad I do my shopping online.