Huh, huh, eRection day… huh, huh

OK, America, please don’t let me down today.

Well, it all comes down to this…  Do we have faith in our antiquated voting booths?  What about our poll workers?  Are they competent?  Will we find some “misplaced” ballot boxes in the East River?  I don’t know what shocking news the day will bring, but hopefully we’ll have enough of a margin to determine who will be our next President.  Then Sarah Palin can pursue her place on the national stage and, upon failing to find a spot, can take that offer from Playboy that’s sure to come.  Oh, McCain can go back to the dumbest state in the nation.

And, if Obama wins, I sincerely hope no one takes him out.  That would be such a tragedy in terms of his own life and family, but what a loss to the country.  What a throwback to an earlier, darker time in this country’s past when we (apparently) could only see the “color of one’s skin, but not the content of their character.”  It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking there are people out there wishing for this to happen.

In other election news, why the hell can’t the board of elections (or whoever creates the ballots) write the “public questions” in clear, plain English?  Read this (158 words in ONE undecipherable sentence):

Do you approve the proposed amendment to the State Constitution which provides that, after this amendment becomes part of the Constitution, a law enacted thereafter that authorizes State debt created through the sale of bonds by any autonomous public corporate entity, established either as an instrumentality of the State or otherwise exercising public and essential governmental functions, such as an independent State authority, which debt or liability has a pledge of an annual appropriation as the ways and means to pay the interest of such debt or liability as it falls due and pay and discharge the principal of such debt, will be subject to voter approval, unless the payment of the debt is made subject to appropriations of an independent non-State source of revenue paid by third persons for the use of the object or work bonded for, or are from a source of State revenue otherwise required to be appropriated pursuant to another provision of the Constitution?

My proposal is to have EVERY ballot reviewed by eighth graders; if they can’t understand it, then neither can much of the voting public.  Jeez.  There should also be a limit on the amount of prepositional phrases used in a sentence AND a word limit on sentences.  UGH.

At least San Franciscans get to vote on renaming
a sewage plant after George W. Bush (LINK HERE)
(Thanks, KC, for the heads up).

BeLikeMichael’s Halloween 2008

Halloween was actually fun this year.  Really, I had fun schlepping the kids around to parties, neighbors and friends’ houses.  My kids were a little out of sorts at first, but they got into the swing of things and had fun.  We ended up having a Tinkerbell and a dinosaur, and, of course, I dressed up as the BeLikeMichael blogger, a popular costume out East.

High Points:

• trick-or-treaters only emptied our “take 2 or 3 please” bowl once,
• my jack-o-lantern survived the evening and suffered only one hit to the face, 
• all the kids we treated were VERY polite and grateful, 
• saw some good friends and neighbors (one neighbor even got my kids some Halloween books), 
• one kid was even collecting for UNICEF, AND, we believed he really was,
• to my pleasant surprise, my faith was restored in a “holiday” I haven’t really enjoyed in a long time

Low Points:

• Didn’t get the bags of candy I’m used to from my childhood, 
• candy ingestion now coupled with slight guilt that NEVER existed in childhood, 
• those hideous Obama/Palin effigies, 
• I secretly wanted some kid to totally S-M-A-S-H my pumpkin

Now, on to Tuesday’s election.  It’s hard to believe this country’s going to change soon.  I would say, “…hopefully for the better”, but I do believe it can’t be much worse than it was for the past eight years.

VOTE EARLY.

VOTE OBAMA.

VOTE OFTEN.

See you on Wednesday in our changed country; I’ll either be very happy and hopeful for our country’s future, or I’ll be annoyed that I’m gonna have to endure Sarah Palin and the Republicans for four more years.

Voter Registration Changes

Source: The BLM Wire, Copyright 2008

In an effort to gain accurate votes and streamline the voting process, the US is trying a new approach by scattering the days on which people will cast their votes this November.  The registered Democrats will vote on the usual day, the first Tuesday in November, November 4, 2008, whereas the registered Republicans and independents will vote the following Tuesday, November 11, 2008.

Separating the two parties will not only alleviate congestion and reduce waiting time at the polling stations, but it may also elminite altercations at the polls.  “Some voters get so heated about the issues that they bring their aggressive attitudes to the polling station and, well, they’re just looking for a fight” says poll worker Ewell Stanton of Biloxi, Missouri.  Other polling places have reported fistfights and even car bombings.

This particular year is especially important, being a Presidential election year and accurate counts are vital.  “We now know that we’ve had inaccurate counts in the past two Presidential elections” continues Mr. Stanton, “and I believe we put the wrong man in the white house, twice.  So this time we hope to get it right.”  Since there will be less votes cast on each of the two voting days, the likelihood of “losing” votes will be minimized.  Also, each polling place will be fully staffed, so there should be less “foul play” at the booths, as we believed has happened in the past.

Beyond the reasons stated above, there is also the issue of safety.  Less cars on the road means less accidents and that can save lives.  In households having one parent as a registered Democrat and one parent as a registered Republican, now allows the freedom of one parent being able to stay home with the kids while the other votes.  This should show a remarkable reduction in trips to the emergency room from neglected children left at home while BOTH parents are out voting.

Head of Voter Registration Changes, Samuel Cleen, is very hopeful about this change, but hopes that enough Americans have heard the news.  “Not one of the major television stations would carry our ads, ” says Cleen, “and in the end that will only hurt the Americans who turn out to vote.  Imagine all the registered voters who will be turned away that first Tuesday, only to find out that they won’t be able to vote until the next Tuesday.  Thank goodness the Democrats are so far ahead otherwise the Republicans may have something (else) to gripe about.”

So, I guess we’ll see you at the polls, and Remember:

Registered Democrats vote: Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Registered Republicans/Independents vote: Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Back from hiatus…

OK, lambs, I’m back to steer you to the food trough.  I know you were lost without my guidance, but that’s all going to change…

The word of the day is “Obama”.  If you’re not registered to vote, then register asap and if you are registered, please do us all a favor and VOTE.  Don’t be one of these morons that think their vote doesn’t matter or one of the clods who say, “I don’t like either guy, so why bother voting?”.  Ugh.  And if you’re planning on voting for McCain, don’t forget to get to the polls early this December.